Beautiful, big gobs of snow that I was pretty sure as it settled in my hand would just magically turn into the perfect snowball to throw at my boss... I mean a tree.
But with this beautiful snow comes the harsh, but real truth that we are in the very dead center of winter. Ugh!
I don't know about other people, but I have a coldness threshold. A certain point that I can be in a cold-ish atmosphere before it seeps into my bones and permeates me with a coldness that I just can't shake, hours, days, even weeks later.
What is funny is this coldness threshold will change. There will be some times that I feel like I can stand barefoot in a Canadian blizzard (which we all know are friendlier and have that funny accent) and be fine.
Alright, maybe not that extreme. But there are times when I feel like I have my internal "I'll keep you warm" switch so securely on high that I could do something crazy, like unzip my industrial winter jacket on a snowy walk!
But there are other times that I could crawl inside the radiator and still not be able to rid myself of that chill that sticks itself to me like a leech, pulling out any comforting, confident sensation of warmth before it can build up and tip me over to the warm side.
The problem is I don't control which switch is on. Warm or Cold.
Today, it was a cold day. I almost sat on the heater, the only thing preventing me was the thought of scorching my tan pants and smelling like burnt bottom the rest of the day.
Nothing I did tipped the scale from being cold to warm.
And night time is the worse.
There were some nights I would lay in bed for hours, unable to fall asleep because certain parts of my body (feet!) were cold as a penguin's tail feathers.
I would marvel at how the human body was able to successfully pump blood from my warm heart to my warm lungs and this pleasantly warm, oxygenated blood would course happily all throughout my body... Except My Feet!
There had to be some kind of alternative route switch.
Because if any warm blood flowed to my feet they would have had to warm up, right?
Then I could finally get to sleep.
But my feet stayed cold. And the only logical explanation was that my body made the executive decision that my feet were obviously severely frozen and beyond saving, so for the good of the rest of the body, it refused it service of blood, or warmth, or even inviting it to it's daughter's upcoming birthday party.
And so there my feet lay, so far from the rest of me. So cold, and that coldness holding me in tortured awakeness, as the time for my morning alarm ticks ever closer. Bit by bit. Madness.
I've tried different things to cure this. Hot shower before bed. Which usually just results in me having wet hair when I lay down, and crazy bed head the next morning.
Hot pad at the foot of my bed. This was the perfect solution for a long time. Something nice and warm for my little toe-ies to nestle up to.
And the warmth from my feet sent warm waves of happiness up my legs to the rest of myself. Which then, and only then, decided to acknowledge my feet again as members.
Now the downsides to this include the fact that once I am warm enough, and fall asleep, the hot pad does not necessarily do so. So it's hot, clammy fingers will turn me into a lobster in my own bed.
Sometimes there was no outlet that was convenient, and no matter how warm the end got, the cord still felt like an icy eel laying next to you in bed that you have to keep away from in your quest for warmth.
Or I'd kick it away in the middle of the night, wake up the morning and forget to turn it off. That one is the worst, because as soon as I remember, typically when I get to work, I then have my father's voice in my head the rest of the day pointing a finger at me and yelling "Fire Hazard!"
Which brings me to my newest solution. Heated rice pillows.
My friend first introduced me to them, and they are great. It's a small, pillow filled with rice that you microwave. The rice will hold onto that heat for up to an hour or more. The prefect amount of time to warm you nice and cozy without becoming a fire hazard.
It's great as a muscle relaxant too. There was one time I was on a road trip, and got cramps. Now heading south from Fargo, North Dakota just does not offer you a lot of opportunities to buy those cool little heat activated packs.
Actually it doesn't offer you any gas station of any kind for a solid 2 hours.
Needless to say when we did finally did find a gas station, I was in pain. Lots.
Going into MacGuyver mode I was determined to do something for relief. I was well past the point of any pain pill. But heat could help. I took a long sock, and went inside, looking to buy a bag of rice and use the microwave.
'Cuz every trucker stop has a microwave...but they don't all have rice.
At this point I was to the point of rabid pain. Instead of biting someone, I bought the closest thing I could to rice, sunflower seeds. I dumped them in the sock. Nuked them until they started to burn, then headed out to the car.
Relief washed over me. In less than 10 minutes I was speaking like a normal person again, and within a half hour I was actually not unpleasant to be around.
But the tiny car reeked of burnt sunflower seeds.
Rice doesn't have that negative side effect.
Inside your flannel rice pillow you have your own portable, non fire hazard, warmth machine. I throw it under my covers at the foot of my bed. Then when I climb in, my toes joyfully greet their warm friend. I smile and fall into a blissful sleep filled with candy bars, sunny days, and handsome men giving back massages.
If you suffer from this chronic disease called cold. Especially common in the winter, I would highly recommend you medicate yourself with a warm rice pillow.
Cloth, rice, and a working microwave can help seep that little bit of extra heat to tip the scale from cold to warm.
Use it on the couch, use it in bed, use it as heat to relax muscles, use it as a neck and shoulder relaxant. It has tons of great uses.
It's easy to make, as long as your not afraid of a little sewing.
And for those of us who are, yet want one. I can make one for you. I have cloth, you'd just have to pay for the cost of a bag of rice ($4) and what it takes to ship it to you.
I can even put a bit of lavender in it if you want. Lavender does wonders for calming a worried mind. Promoting relaxation and sleep.
Some say it's also an aphrodisiac. But I'll let you be the judge of that. ;)
Want one? e-mail. pavlovia@gmail.com
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